Child Counselling & Parent Coaching

Family 1: combination of child counselling, parent coaching & parent-child session

9-year-old Rose came to see me as she struggled with separation anxiety and fear of something bad happening to her mum. Her fears extended to being poisoned by out-of-date food and unexpectedly having to vomit. She also struggled with low-confidence at school and was worried about getting things wrong.

As a coping mechanism she resorted to compulsive behaviour such as excessive hand-washing and checking sell-by-dates on food labels, while increasingly finding excuses not to attend school.

Rose started suffering from severe eczema aged 3.5, which would leave her skin infected and raw. She was unable to sleep and experienced night terrors. Through a variety of health interventions, Rose finally got better aged 6. By that time, she had missed out on many social events and weeks of schooling, and was unable to fall asleep by herself. In addition, her grandfather’s sudden death when she was 4 years old, added to her way of catastrophising situations. Her parents were concerned about her difficulty to see and enjoy the positive’s in life, and as a result of not knowing how to support her, would often feel emotionally exhausted.

Through a combination of 1:1 session with Rose, sessions with her parents and parent-child work, Rose started to become less anxious after 6 weeks. Her parents recognised their part in feeding into Rose’s anxiety, and started to becoming more boundaried while at the same time acknowledging her struggles. Jointly we identified ways for Rose to better cope with her anxieties and for her parents to guide her through difficult situations. After 6 months, Rose was able to enjoy life without her worries taking over any longer, and she feels able to speak up at school if something bothers her. At the same time her mum can now go out without Rose fearing something bad is going to happen, and the parents have their evenings back as Rose is able to fall asleep by herself.

Family 2: combination of child counselling, parent coaching & parent-child session

Parents of 12-year-old Lukas asked for help as their son struggled with high levels of anxiety, both at home and at school. He would display controlling and demanding behaviours, and a lack of empathy for others, which negatively impacted friendships and family life. In addition, he was anxious to sleep by himself, resulting in his father sleeping with him for 6 months.

As a copying mechanism she resorted to compulsive behaviour such as excessive hand-washing and checking sell-by-dates on food labels, while increasingly finding excuses not to attend school.

In my work with him it soon became apparent that Lukas was struggling to consider other people’s perspectives and needs. Through creative therapeutic interventions he became less anxious, however continued to struggle with relationships and to follow instructions. This would cause frictions with teachers and classmates as well as family members, leaving his parents emotionally exhausted. We agreed to look into the possibility of him being neurodiverse, i.e. potentially being on the autistic spectrum and / or having ADHD. The process let his parents see Lukas’s behaviour in a different light, understanding why he might respond in certain ways. Through sessions with Lukas and his parents we explored specific situations that would lead to regular conflict at home, and jointly find solutions. As a result, home life became less demanding and more manageable.

Lukas has since been diagnosed with ADHD and is now getting appropriate support at school and at home.

Family 3: parent coaching

Hanna and Louise, two committed yet overstretched mums of 3 kids under the age of 4, asked me to help them become better parents. They struggled with the challenging behaviour of their son, and found it increasingly difficult to agree on how best to engage with him. Growing up they had experienced different parenting styles, one was more caring and nurturing while the other one more disciplinarian. Now having their own children and juggling a busy home and professional life, they would often find themselves arguing about how best to discipline their children.

Our work centred around understanding the motivation of their son’s behaviour and how best to engage with him so his need of feeling connected was met. At the same time, we explored their respective upbringings, their individual strengths and challenges.

Soon Hanna and Louise realised that each their parenting style had benefits as long as they worked together, both with each other as well as with their children.

Through interventions like spending quality 1:1 time with each child, positive encouragement of their kid’s efforts and empathising with their feelings, they quickly saw a change in their son’s behaviour.

After four sessions they are now able to enjoy a happier family life including calmer meal times without their son demanding most of their attention.

Moreover, Hanna and Louise have less arguments about how best to parent their kids while recognising and appreciating each other’s strengths. They feel better equipped to calm emotional storms, deal with toddler behaviour talking to their children.